It's Ok. You Don't Have To Be Positive All The Time

Why deep bonds are forged out of conflicts

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Today, we’re plagued by the cult of positivity. People routinely tell us to eliminate toxic influences lest they interrupt our lives. The late modern person is a misanthrope in the second order. They prefer to hang out with people who remind them of themself and perceive differences as a threat. They safeguard their positivity out of the fear of the Other.

Yet this way of living narrows life down to repetition. Talking with friends feels like talking into a mirror. Reading a book feels like reading our own autobiography. Scrolling through a curated social media feed reaffirms what we already believe. We fear any ruptures to our ideas of life, and what was previously an opinion turns into a gospel.

According to Eve Sedgwick, this view of events/people is akin to paranoia. The paranoid person ensures that there are no bad surprises. They do everything they can to pre-judge and anticipate bad outcomes before anything happens. They try to control the future. Sedgwick writes: